keywords = Berlinerwerke railroad model stories tall tales apocrypha PRR Pennsy Pennsilvanya S. Berliner, III's Smithdauian Institution Page
Updated: 25 Jan 2005, 16:35 ET
(Created 21 Nov 2003)
[Ref: This is smithdau.html (URL http://home.att.net/~Berliner-Ultrasonics/smithdau.html )]

S. Berliner, III's

Smithdauian Institution Page

(Lighten up - it's a spoof!)

Consultant in Ultrasonic Processing
"changing materials with high-intensity sound"
Technical and Historical Writer, Oral Historian
Popularizer of Science and Technology
Rail, Auto, Air, Ordnance, and Model Enthusiast
Light-weight Linguist, Lay Minister, and Putative Philosopher
This site has now been visited times since the counter was installed.

An Index Page for the
THE BERLINERWERKE APOCRYPHA
and similar emphemera

(21 Nov 03)

This page sponsored in part, jointly (lots of 'em), by the

National Railway Hysterical Society
and the
National Muddle Railroad Association.

(Lighten up - they're spoofs!)

and by the
Berlinerwerke Script
(Berlinerwerke)
BW Key

The Smithdauian Institution

"An establishment for the increase and diffusion of knowledge among women."

We really make every possible effort to comply fully with this truly noble mission;
the knowledge increased by this effusion is very diffuse and greatly diffused!

History of the Smithdauian Institution

In 1826, Jane Smithdau, a British scientist, drew up her last will and testament, naming her niece, Constance Brontë (1816 - 1856), as beneficiary. Smithdau stipulated that, should the niece die without issue (as she did), the estate should go “to the Untied States of America, to found at Washington, under the name of the Smithdauian Institution, an establishment for the increase and diffusion of knowledge among women.”

The motives behind Smithdau’s bequest remain mysterious. She never traveled to the Untied States and seems to have had no correspondence with anyone here. Some have suggested that her bequest was motivated in part by revenge against the rigidities of British society, which had denied Smithdau, who was, like her niece, illegitimate, the right to use her father’s name. Others have suggested it reflected her interest in the Enlightenment ideals of democracy and universal suffrage.

Again, no effort is spared to be fulfill this grand legacy; both men and women, alike, suffer equally and greatly from such efforts.

The Smithdauian Index
to Berlinerwerke Apocrypha, Ephemera, and
other just-plain Balderdash, Folderol,
Gammon, and Fustian.

First and foremost of the various pages on this site must be the main Berlinerwerke Apocrypha Page:
Eerie Multiplex 2-4-6-8-10-12, "Old 9999".
PRR/BW DD3 Boxcab Triple-Power Diesel-Electric Locomotive 2-B+3-3+3-3+B-2.
PRR Z6s Arctic 4-2-2.
Berliners Bessere Biffi und Biffisch.

[Many pages that follow feature the incredible work of famed loco designers
George and Ira Ersatz,
originally with EMC² and later with the BW.]

On the Berlinerwerke Apocrypha Continuation Page 1:
GC&E #13 13-truck Shay!
4-Truck Heisler V8
Steam Motorcars

On the Berlinerwerke Apocrypha Continuation Page 2:
PRR V1 Rocky 4-14-2 {moved from preceding page 07 Mar 99}.
BW V2 Hiss Bomb.
PRR Genesis Engine (unlikely!).
PRR Centipede Engine 4-D-D-4 (even more unlikely, but oh, 'tis true, 'tis true!).
"Big Hooker" double-ended 250-ton Tunnel Crane

and pix of NYC 2x120-ton prototype.
Super Garratt, BW-UP Garratt Boy, and BW-UP Bigger Boy.

On the Berlinerwerke Apocrypha Continuation Page 3:
BW Climaxiii
Doubled-Sided Shays

On the Berlinerwerke Apocrypha Continuation Page 4: (15 May 03)
Soviet Class AA20 4-14-4!
Parker Parodies - loco research by Karen Parker. (06 Oct 03)
Piker and Oscar (moved from main BW Apocrypha page 12 Dec 03). (06 Oct 03)
BW-EMD F-45 and FP-45 Variations. (17 Dec 03)

Berlinerwerke Guest Apocrypha (for taller tales?):

NORTHEAST CORRIDOR FREIGHT ENGINES.

LEWELLEN NORTHERN GARRATTS.

CSXT AC100CBW and NSC CB100W-10 10,000 horsepower locos!

Go to the EMD page for the fabled BW DDP45 and other engines EMC and EMD may never have dreamed of!

See also the HO (1:87.1) Berlinerwerke saga.

On the Z (1:220) Berlinerwerke-Z saga
BW RR, BUSINESS, and PLACE NAMES (the Original Set (BW HO)

Lattingtown, Landing, & Locust Valley Light 'Lectric Line - The 'L - "Go to 'L!".

DD Diesel Delivery Dept. - Dependable Drayage,

Skunks Misery Excursion RR, etc.,
plus those originally created for the BW-Z, such as:

Berliners Bessere Biffi Bauerei - Berliner's Better Biffy Builders.

Berliners Bessere Ballast Belastungen

und Sams Schöner Schotter und Schlake Zech. -

Berliner's Better Ballast Loads and Sam's Nicer Ballast and Gravel Tipple.

Mercerized Bents, Inc. - Fine Imported German Bridge Bents -

Guaranteed to Hold a Lustrous Finish.

etc.,
and then the
2nd Generation names
(such as The Backhoe Road), continued on the BWZ NAMES page

(with ES2O - Stranded Oil Co., etc.).

See also the Zictionary,
continued on Zictionary - lotZ of wordZ (Part 2- N-Z).

[You might then enjoy Paul and Garret's Pseudodictionary!]

PENNSILVANYA RAILROAD- {to follow - with such famous places as the Whoreshoe Curve}

CHAMPLANE COLLAGE - {for those who would like to get admission forms for Champlain College of Plattsboig, New York (which has been defunct since 1954)! (08 Jan 04)

If you like this sort of nonsense, take a gander at Jim Wells' incredible

[The AW NUTS Magazine site of the A.W. N.U.T.S. Garden Railway Society is no longer available.]

(25 Jan 05)

If you are air-minded (take that as you choose), you must see the Lion Air site! I'd be Lion if I didn't warn you to keep your tongue in your cheek on this one!

Take your tongue out of your cheek and visit D. Dickens' The Patiala State Monorail Tramway site; whooie (and it's for real)!

THUMBS UP!

THUMBS UP! - Support your local police, fire, and emergency personnel!

S. Berliner, III

To contact S. Berliner, III, please click here.

Return to Top of Page