keywords = Z scale Berlinerwerke model railroad saga name layout S. Berliner, III's Berlinerwerke-Z Names Page
Updated: 14 Apr 2007, 17:25 ET
(Created 20 Feb 2001)
[Ref: This is bwznames.html (URL http://home.att.net/~Berliner-Ultrasonics/bwznames.html )]

S. Berliner, III's

(Berlinerwerke-Z)

Names Page

Consultant in Ultrasonic Processing
"changing materials with high-intensity sound"
Technical and Historical Writer, Oral Historian
Popularizer of Science and Technology
Rail, Auto, Air, Ordnance, and Model Enthusiast
Light-weight Linguist, Lay Minister, and Putative Philosopher
This site has now been visited times since the counter was installed.

THE BERLINERWERKE-Z SAGA

Naming the "Famous" Berlinerwerke Railroad

[The Z-Scale Version]

continued from:

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Page,

in itself continued on

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 2,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 3,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 4,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 5,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 6,

including a Tour of the Berlinerwerke-Z.

This page created to handle the overflow of

BW RR, BUSINESS, and PLACE NAMES -
continued

from the main Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Page:

Original Set (BW HO):

Berlinerwerke - the Berliner Works, etc.

Second Generation (BW-Z):

Berliners Bessere Biffi Bauerei - Berliner's Better Biffy Builders, etc.

Jump to last (and possibly latest) listing;
I make no guarantee that I won't insert others in between.

[You can jump by year by clicking on 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, or 2005.]

Latest Additions (especially for the row of store fronts along Railroad Avenue), such as:

ES2O Stranded Oil logo

ES2O - Stranded Oil Co. (RR service on the main line and gasoline/petrol/benzin stations), etc.

and now, for my next act - the first name of

Year 2000:

Milky Whey Dairy Products (slight variation on actual local business name).

and then I wrote:

Eath and Alan - Colonial Furniture.
Duse and Berg - Fine Classic Car Replicas.
BMW Chevy Chase - Stolen Cars Traced.
Cracker and Atlanta brand hams - from Georgia.
Freud and Reich - Psychiatrists - work out your problems in the finest detail.

(click here)

Ah! Sheer brilliance! My mind reels at the genius involved in this -

the operator of the ES2O station (it's only a gasoline brand) MUST

be Berliner Motoren Werke (Berliner Motor Works) - thus, BMW:

Auto Onion

and the competing showroom down the block

(BW workers ARE well-paid!)

simply must be Auto Onion

{How COULD these have eluded me all these years?}

OOPS! - there should have been only four circles

in the Auto Onion emblem, NOT five!

(Fixed 22 Mar 00)

Hanky Heavy Industries - Kerchew track tampers, scarifiers, etc., and subsidiaries:.

Hanky Bannister - stair and porch railings, and

Hanky Ganister - Rocky Mountain Wry Whiskey (for that Rocky Mountain high!)

(probably only civil enginers and construction stiffs will get this latter).
Pigskill - Pork Packers (another York Stater).
Moe Dell's - Sporting Goods.
Veronica Lake, anyone?
Hay Mow - Imitation Chocolate Drink, made from grain (old timers, only, on this, also).
Oedipus Wrecks - Kingly Kar Krushers.
Eddie Puss Complex - Multivitamins for Cats.
[Colon Us, PLC - Gastroenterologists.

(03 Mar 01 - I simply HAD to add this here for you fans of the Bard.)]

Last gasps for 2000:

Appellation Sweets Candy Co., A. Ron Copeland, Prop.

and its subsidary,
Her She Products - Kisses for the Little Lady.

{Feminists (and dentists) will kill me for this one,

but my tongue is in my cheek - well, in a cavity, actually!}
Appellation Spring - the redoubtable and multitalented A. Ron Copeland also ran this mfr. of coil and leaf springs.
Tweilight Zone - New Age Products - ein, zwei, drei, twei - you're in the 4th dimension!
Einzwei Dry Goods. {I liiike it! How could I resist this one?}
Convo Luted Lyre Co. - Musical instruments with strings attached.
Mome Down, Inc. - feather merchants (wholesale slaughterers of wildfowl).
Invisible Inc. - mfrs. of disappearing writing fluids.
Fell, Tup plc. - attorneys - specializing in sexual harassment cases

{another abstruse one, with a double entendre

requiring a good command of archaic English} - already
Neal, Knight Ltd. - dubbing specialists.
Hugh More - comedian's agent.
Hugh N. Creigh - alarmists.
GenuFlect, Ltd. - genuine low-angle flections.
Of Thee Icing - patriotic cake bakers (the icing on the cake).
Fett, Tuccini & Co. - Italian pasta dishes

and its subsidary,
P. Tsa - Sino-Italian food.
Fall Tea Towers - vertical infusion equipment, John Kleeze, Prop.
Fawlty Tars - builders of asphalt towers with southern exposures, John Sleaze, Prop.

(hadda sneak this one in, here)
Clock Watchers - large timepieces converted to wrist and pocket models.
Window Washers - mfr. of shims for tightening loose windows.

and
{Dang! Forgot it as I wrote the above!

Something to do with complexity or interconnectedness; if it comes back, I'll add it.}

Uh, oh! I'm on a roll, now!

Simple Gifts - authentic and reproduction Shaker furniture and artifacts.
Bed, Bath and Before - antique home furnishings.
Tinker, Evers & Chance - tracers of stolen bases.

Reed Ng - oriental text proofing (partner of Ri Ting).
Ri Ting - oriental calligrapher (partner of Reed Ng).
Rithmatic - automatic calculators and hickory sticks (a well-diversified company).
Fustis & Mustes - Civil War memorabilia.
Berliner Gramophone Co. - telephones for chronologically-impaired females.

and now, for my next next act - the first name of

Year 2001:

Toupée or Not Toupée - Hairpieces (from a real movie, "An Everlasting Piece")

{personally, I think the movie is wigged out!}.

AND THEN HE WROTE:

Mussel Motors - Specializing in Mussel Cars -

We fuel our cars only with Shell Gasoline!

Now, what caused the overflow and necessitated this page? I forgot it!

and now, for my latest act (perpetration?), as of 01 Mar 01 - the first name of

the THIRD MILLENNIUM:

Tacks Shelters - mfrs. of awnings for sidewalk hardware displays -
Keep your hardware dry!
[I picked up this miniature lawn table and umbrella with upended tacks
on the table, so labelled, at a roadside stand in Maine
(NOT Nova Scotia), probably up around Calais
(it's stamped "The Toymaker of Maine" underneath)]:

And continuing apace (malheureusement!) -

Topée or Not Topée - Tropical helmets to cover your hairpieces (esoteric, what?).
Pleigh Yon Words - Punsters, Anagramatists, and Toponymicists

(this last inspired by Jeffrey MacHan).
Peak's Pike - Fresh fish daily (inspired, most indirectly, by Jeffrey Mac Han).
Ray Dio - electronic communications specialist (aqui sé habla Español/parla Italiano).
Brew Haha - your friendly neighborhood pub "where quiet contemplation is discouraged".
Franken Steins - Transylvanian beer mugs, yards, and gallauns.
Digby O'Dell, Your Friendly Undertaker
{without apologies to the Great Gildersleeve; it was actually "Digger",

but this is how I remember it und dis is how it vill BE!}.
Leon Perrins, Saucier Créole Extraordinaire.
Weight Washers, Inc. - window weights carefully cleaned.
Polly Merrick Chemical Corporation - plastics, adhesives, and synthetic rubber.

[Founded, directed, and operated by women - and damn well, too!]

Helen Highwater, Managing Director
Clusive, PLC - Are you no longer clusive? Our exclusive, inclusive personality
programming is unconditionally guaranteed to make you reclusive once more!
Pasta E. Fagioli, Esq. - Attorney (specializing in immigration law).

Pete Saioli, Esq. - Partner.

O. Sabucco, Esq. - Partner
Rasin, Hell, plc. - Attorneys (specializing in civil rights law).
Rasin, Cain, plc. - Attorneys (specializing in ecclesiastical cases).
Bronks, Whitestone & Co. - Bridge Builders.
Sue Shi - Japanese culinary artist.
Belle E. Button - Navel Architect.
Tony Chestnut - writer of toddlers' word games.
Diplo Dochus - Saurian Seating.
O. Merta - hands blackened, cement overshoes fitted, accidents arranged.
Shake's Spears - Elizabethan Weaponry.
Francis Baking - Elizabethan Chewed Fat - "Half-Baked in Half-Timbered Bakery".
Tilly Vision - Video Spectacles.
W. C. Fields - :o( - sanitary drainage facilities.
Indelicato, Inflagrante, Delicto, plc. - Matrimonial Law.

"No case too lurid for IID!" (too bad it can't be Unflagrante)
Gross Cesspool Service - "You float 'em; we tote 'em!" (real 661-area code slogan)

(This was SO gross that I couldn't resist;

both the gross name and the gross slogan are real!).
Dehydra Ted - Dehydrated Water, Theodore A. Queous, Prop. -

operator of the 20,000,000 gal. tank car!

[We owe the basic concept to (blame it on?) George Johnstone, at Emmaus, PA - 21 Jul 01.]
The silliness continues apace with a trio of "Al"s:

Al Fresco - outdoor caterer and noted muralist,

Al Arms - warning systerms, and

Al G. Bragh - mathematically-designed brassières.

Emeril Largesse - Chef for the Rich and Famous.
Noble S. Obleej - Charity Fundraising Consultant.
Ayah Menefem - famed star of Arab radio.
Männer Mobil - Peoples Car {why should VW get all the orders?}.

and Messyhouse Electric Company

My last for 2001:
Rudolf the Red - Importer, Breeder, and Supplier of Reindeer.

Rudolf the Red knows Reindeer!

Year 2002:

And now my first (two) for 2002:

Agnes Day - Religious Music Publisher.
Carmine A. Burana - Orff Instrumentation Dealer (music that's orff the wall!).

Eastinghouse Electric Co. - "We're No. 2!" ("You can be confused if it's Eastinghouse!").

Wolfgang Puck Co. - frozen hamburger patties for the hockey trade.
WEC :·) Logo

{ya gotta be an old-timer for this one}

Westernhouse Electric Co. - "We're No. 3!" ("You can be sued if it's Westernhouse!").

{I'm pushing the envelope!}

Beastinghouse Electric Co. - "We're the Pits!" ("You can be arrested if it's Beastinghouse!").

{this is REALLY pushing the envelope!}

{so much for the envelope!}
BEC :·) Logo

Nuthouse Electric Co. - electrified straightjackets ("They're coming for me!").

Why quit when you're behind?

Nestinghouse Electric Co. - birdhouse lighting ("It's for the birds!").

{some people just don't know when to quit!}

This is to good to pass up:

Questinghouse Electric Co. - church enlightenment ("You can be unsure if it's Questinghouse!")

{and that's O.K.! In Unitarian Universalist churches, at least!}
"Illuminating the eternal questions".

Well, now! Lájos Thek (the Treez man) must get credit for the germs of the next two gems:
Scepticide - doubt eradicator - a product of QEC.
QuasiModo - imitation Italian fashions (read "ripoffs").

Dewey Decibel System - A Sound Investment.

The last of 2002:
Damn O'Clease (legendary Irish swordsmith) - Suspended Swords (after Will Wright).

Year 2003:

The first of 2003 (won't this ever end? Are we theeeere yet?):
[These first two require a knowledge of English art (oxymoronic though that seem)]
Grinling Gibbons - Handcarved Wooden Monkeys.
and subsidiary Grinding Gibbons - Handcarved Alabaster Hear-No-Evil/See-No-Evil/Speak-No-Evil Monkeys

"No Human Hand Has Ever Touched Our Product!".
also Grinning Gibbons - Monkey Shiners
Al Tuna - Seafood Purveyor to the PRR Middle Division.
Claire Voyant - Spiritualist and Medium (an oldie - hardly original).
Dolce, Farni, Ente - Rail-Marine Consultants (marine concrete specialists).
{You know, I REALLY like this one!}
Arcane & Attica RR - a mysterious uncommon carrier.
L. Greco, Artist - specializing in religious and Hispanic themes -

a portion of all proceeds are donated to help fight Morfan's Syndrome.

Year 2004:

Paltry Poultry Producers - Sal Monella, Manager (thanks to Craig Davis for the idea).

Tao-mark - The supermarket where you "Get a Little Less..."!

[Check out that registry mark carefully.]

"The store that's one with everything!"

(Coins falling into the register go "tao-te-ching, tao-te-ching"!)

{I have to admit that I am REALLY proud of this one!}

How about Tao'd End? - A path less travelled by.

Sir Edward Jenner, III - renowned British physician; after the famed debate in Parliament on socialized medicine, Sir Edward rose to denounce the entire body with his oft-quoted blast, "A pox on both your houses!". Upon being roundly booed, he squared his shoulders and moved to America, where the Berlinerwerke promptly hired him as to be the company doctor.

(You have to be well versed in both medicine and history for this one!)

Oldenberg Clays - fine arts medium, favored by the mock-realist school, especially suited for sculpting torn notebooks, scissors, trowels, bluebery pies with shuttlecocks, and baseball bats.

Year 2005:

Chesebrough Ponds - Landscape Architects, specializing in ornamental waters - noted for vase lines.
Coalgrate Palm Olive Peat - clean-burning fireplace fuel from decomposed palm olives.

[Bet you never knew olives grew on palm trees, eh?]
Hoarse Puckies - mash lozenges for sore throats, Hannibal, Missouri

Sherman T. Potter, M. D., Colonel, U. S. Army Medical Corps. (Ret'd.), Proprietor.
Magda Berg, ecdysiast, lover of Mayor Otto von Guericke, famed for her hemispheres (such brass!)

{this one is for effete snobs}.
Mayer Klin - German manufacturer of toys, world renowned for toy trainZ.
Proto Type Foundry

Year 2006:

Nothing? How have I failed you? new

(14 Apr 07)

Year 2007:

[and last, but not necessarily latest (you may have missed some, above):]

Speaking of foundries (Proto Type, above), how about:
Lawsten Foundry? new (14 Apr 07)

END (to date)

- - - * - - -

Oh, I DO enjoy this idiocy!

and what WAS that other absolute gem I thunk up while motoring up to London (England) in Oct 98?

[Still can't think of it!]

Jump back to first listing or even to the first listing of the preceding page.

These definitely go from the s(ub)lime to the ridiculous! Definitely Zany! And I don't even have the decency to apologiZe!

Hey! How come there are (or were) HO Quick Oats but no Z Quick OatZ? No fair! Ah, but see Z-scale page. (21 Apr 05)

At least, if inspiration struck, you wouldn't see this - but it's working hard.

Surely, a grown man must have something better to do than this!

If you enjoy this idiocy, you've gotta see my Zictionary and the Pseudodictionary!

Continued (after this slight detour) on:

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 2,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 3,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 4,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 5,

Berlinerwerke-Z Saga Continuation Page 6,

including a Tour of the Berlinerwerke-Z.

For tall tales of the BW and its equipment and such, visit the Berlinerwerke Apocrypha page.

LEGACY

What happens to all this* when I DIE or (heaven forfend!) lose interest? See LEGACY.

(* - Not that it matters very much on this particular page.}

THUMBS UP!

THUMBS UP! - Support your local police, fire, and emergency personnel!

S. Berliner, III

To contact S. Berliner, III, please click here
(although why you'd want to, after all this, escapes me).

[Vengeance, maybe?]

of this series of Berlinerwerke-Z Saga pages.

To tour the Z-scale pages in sequence, the arrows take you from the Z-scale index page to the first page, Z-Scale, then to continuation pages 2, 3 and 4, the Z articles page, the 6 BW-Z saga pages, and, and finally to the current Ztrack page.

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